The Insignificant Charlie

The Obsequious Indian

As an Indian (and like my fellow countrymen) I take pride in being an obedient, well-behaved, amenable, susceptible and docile creature. I might be the guy who is looking for a chance to throw off the potato chips' empty packet somewhere below the theater chair when no one's looking at me, or I might be that young lady who just disposed off the empty bottle of Breezer on the highway out of my boyfirend's expensive car while he is taking me out on a long drive, or I might be the one standing at the zebra crossing with a Nike cap and a Red Tape shoe ogling at your breasts while you are busy crossing the road, or to make it even more simple, I might be that guy who was a part of the gang to rape Nirvaya in 2013. That hardly matters, I am a good guy/girl. I am obedient. I am submissive. I am safe.
My forefathers were safe and submissive too. They were licking the shoes of the colonial rulers while they were screwing the country and its people. I have learnt it from them. My forefathers have told me to be a good and "innocent" citizen, abide by the law and be obedient to anyone who is superior to me (the parameters are yet to be deciphered) and might be beneficial in the longer run (I don't know how).
I am obedient to my forefathers, just the way they were to their ignorance and indifference. I am proud that I am flying high the flag of our heritage. I feel responsible to close my eyes at the times when I need to see and protest. I don't care what other thinks about me! It should not matter. I am obedient to my forefathers.
I am obedient to my country and the fucked up (oh, can I be abusive?)system running it.
I AM THE OBSEQUIOUS INDIAN or THE GREAT INDIAN CHAMCHA.

I am a Hindu and I am Proud! I am an enslaved religious moron!

"Don't you stay in a Hindu Rashtra?
Are you not scared of the Geeta? (ah, the book, not your neighbour)
Haven't you read that India is a pseudo-secular country?
Don't you respect Mudi-ji?
Above all, are you not a Hindu Bhakt??

If Yes: You are poisoned (read mindfuked) from your soul. You need a cleansing ASAP.
If Not: Jesus friggin Christ! You must die!!!!"

I live in an amazing country amidst amazing fellow countrymen.
Referring to the image below, this gentleman used to be my classmate in JU. Presently he has taken up something (related to History) from JNU, New Delhi. I am shocked with awe that while the entire world is progressing with a lightening speed, we have educated (!) morons retrogressing even faster.

10 Reasons why you should not watch PK:

1. A group of people are asking you to be little more rational and logical.
2. PK has its sarcastic take on the religious fanatism our country suffers from.
3. PK asks you to question with eyes and ears opened. It asks you to challenge the fake turds.
4. PK has never endorsed any religion through the movie. So what? The religious leaders did!
5. PK has Amir Khan in it. He is a Mulsim. Muslims never make sense. (Stop watching Satyameva Jayate too)
6.PK speaks against the fake babas and sadhus. We should save our holy asses from getting burnt.
7. As a resident of a Hindu Rashtra, you should hate every other religion. It is written in the Geeta (its not?)
8. PK promotes science and reasoning! (Now fuck that shit)
9. Because you are an illiterate moron and you have no thinking of your own.
10. Most importantly, you should always deprive yourself from good movies.

Modern Lol

Taken from: https://www.facebook.com/momutabonerjy

My Didi Strongest

Are you the Bengal Tiger and worried about the state tourism?

Did you just win a local cricket tournament and expecting a state level felicitation?
Do you want to save some money by evading your house taxes?
Are you corrupted enough to run the transport and/or sports ministry?
Are you into media? You want to open up a television channel or news paper agency?
Are you totally incompetent and as boring as June Maliyah?


Don't worry. Your problem will be solved in no time.
We have our Didi on Call service.

Feel free to dial 420-024-420 (Regular call charges applicable. How would the state generate revenue otherwise?). Our Didi is the strongest didi. She has come up with an innovative plan of taking customer service to the next level altogether. Didi had launched this Didi on Call service on the auspicious day of Swami Vivekananda's birth anniversary where Academy Award Winning Actor Deepak Adhikary (who?!) decked up as Saint Vivs (eh, Swami Vivekananda) inaugurated our service line. Our specialized service line include:

- Gang Rapes and murder by party cadres (headed by our esteemed MP Paposh Taal)
- Misappropriation of Public Fund and B2C Cheating Services (headed by Modern Metro)
- Meaningless public functions and events (under the special supervision of Didi herself)
- Kolkata International Film Festival without Bengal Actors and Veterans
- Thousands of private television channel (read propaganda mediums) (lead by Ku-Mal Ghosh)
- Students movement and intellectual gatherings (headed by our student leader Nunku Dev Panda
- Innumerable political gathering and state holidays 
- Weekly classes on abuses and slangs (under the strict supervision of our leader supremo)


Guest Faculty:

1. Shahrukh Khan
2. Shahrukh Khan
3. Shahrukh Khan
4. Shahrukh Khan
5. Shahrukh Khan
6. Shahrukh Khan
7. Shahrukh Khan
8. Shahrukh Khan

NB: At the end of the course you will be entitled to a Doctorate Degree from a Fake American University.


I have preferred using a Shahrukh Khan cartoon because I know he will not jail/kill me for this because he still manages to have a good sense of humor. I don't want to end up in the same jail with Modern Metro using a funny Didi meme.

The Hairy Potter aka Tapas Pal

The year 2014 have been a glorious one for most of the Trinamool Congress cadres. While the leaders (read losers) were on an all paid trip to Singapore to bring business for the state (I still have no clue why Dev was in the delegation), some of its pawns and second string leaders (most of them are though) were busy in threatening the common people.

Tapas, aka Hairy Pal ( I wish I could be little abusive here) paid a very well Gurudakshina to his political guru (I dont know who the funk he/she is) in a speech made at Chandannagore.

I stay in an amazing country where the MPs threaten the opponents of rape and deaths.

The Best Indian Chamcha Award

Last couple of years have been super exciting for us. We have seen leaders rising to power and sinking to corruption. We have been witness to ignorance, indifference and inefficiency to the core. At times I have felt why don't we have a grand award ceremony (knowing how our Chief Minister is attracted to events and parties) to felicitate the indomitable courage and spirit of the great Indian Chamchas of our age.
I clearly don't know whether my CM will allow me to organize an event like this (knowing my interest and her whims) but then, who stops me to set forth my nominations?! I am the selector, I am the jury and I am the the sponsor! And here's my list:

THE GREAT INDIAN SLAVERY (or Chamcha) AWARD:

1. Slavery to the Best Scam in Transport Industry:  GVK (conglomerate)
2. Slavery to Unaccounted Public Cheating: Our very own Sudipta (In)Sen
3. Slavery to Dynastic Politics and controvercial land holdings: Robert Vadra
4. Slavery to confusion and indecision: Arvind Kejriwal
5. Slavery to political mashups and hunger for power: Kunal Ghosh
6. Slavery to silence: Manmohan Singh
7. Slavery to corruption: Suresh Kalmadi
8. Slavery to Political Contacts and Economic Affluence: Maharashtra Police Department for letting Sanju Baba  tamper the judiciary.
9. Slavery to infidelity: Saashi Tharoor
10. Slavery to ignorance, indifference and who-gives-a-damn-I-am-fine approach: 1.21 Billion Indians